So yesterday, I woke up and to the bathroom. I look into the mirror and notice I can only smile on one side of my face. Before I freak out and assume I've had a stroke, I talk out loud to myself. I seemed to talk fine. I didn't seem confused. So I told myself I've had a bad dream and eventually, I go back to sleep.
The previous evening, I had jaw pain. I thought it was wisdom teeth. My eye kept twitching. So, here I was, prepared to get teeth cut out of my head in the next few days. Instead, I wake up with a half-smile.
After I wake up and realize that I still can't move the right side of my face, I bawl. Multiple times. I'm still not sure what happened.. made I did have a stroke? My face is going to look like this forever? Who is going to want me? Will I ever want to be in another picture?
So I get talked into going to the ER. I go and of course, they ask what I'm there for. "I can't move the right side of my face." I can't say this without crying. I don't like looking so weak in front of others. I don't cry often. But this just made me fall apart. The receptionist looks at me and says, "Oh honey. It's probably just Bell's Palsy."
Before I had gone to the ER, I was looking online for possible things it could be. I searched things like "woke up and can't smile" or "woke up and can only move one side of my face." They all pointed to something called Bell's Palsy. I kinda overlooked this because it didn't sound exactly like what was going on with me. I was still expecting it to be my wisdom teeth.
After literally 5 minutes, they call me back. Take my weight, check my blood pressure and temp. I'm running a fever. The RN tells me that's good because that's a sign it could be Bell's Palsy. (Why is everyone saying this to me?)
So I go to this room. The doctor comes in pretty quickly. He makes me do like a sobriety test. "Close your eyes, extend your arms, palms up. Now touch your nose with your right index. Now your left." I felt stupid. Then he checks my reflexes. Normal. He asks me to smile, stick out my tongue, try to raise my eyebrow, raise my shoulders, squeeze his fingers and makes me go cross-eyed following his finger. And then he brings in the med student.
I'm pretty sure I went to high school with this guy. He's nice and always seemed smart. The doctor looks at him and says, "She's young. Nothing neurological. Can't move the right side of her face. What do you think it is?" It's quiet for a moment and I pipe up. "If he doesn't know, I do." The doctor looks at me, "Oh?" "Bell's Palsy." He nods. The med student shrugs, "I had no idea. I've never heard of that." I almost wanted to facepalm. The doctor said it would be great for him to be in on this case because it's rare. And that I'm the youngest he's ever seen with it. If it's so rare, why does it seem like everyone else knows about it? The best question the med student gives me? "Have you been out in the woods lately?" ..Really? It's winter. Sure, it's warm. But do I look like someone who goes to play in the woods with ticks and lyme disease? Naw.
They leave to go do more research. Hour goes by. The med student comes back and has me do a few of the tests the doctor had me do, over again. Then he says he wants to check my gag reflex. He sticks the tongue depressor in my throat and I don't gag. "Odd. Do you normally not have a gag reflex?" "Not really." "Oh, well that's not going to help us." And he leaves.
A half an hour goes by. "We may do a CT scan but we're not sure yet." The doctor leaves me with these questions in my head. Later, he returns and tells me that he's going to give me one because the med student thinks it's best. Another half hour and a lady arrives to wheel me away to do the test. I'd never done a CT. I wasn't sure if I'd get the IV stuff or anything. Thankfully, I did not. I just laid there with my eyes closed and felt like I was flying.. odd, I know.
Once it's over and she gives me some fresh, warm blankets, she asks why I am there. I explain my situation and she, too, says it's Bell's Palsy. (What is with these people?!)
So I go back to the room and she lets me know it'll be about 20 minutes and I'll have my results. Well, that 20 minutes was really like 40-60. The doctor comes in, tells me it's fine and it's Bell's Palsy. That I have to take anti-viral medicine, a steroid and do eye drops to keep my eye from drying out or being injured. I'm told to follow up with my doctor in the next few days and I get discharged.
So I'm taking these large amounts of pills, so many that I don't want to take anything for the pain I'm having. Today, it feels as if I have even less movement in my face and I am even more frustrated. The recovery for this is around 6 weeks, possibly longer. There's a small chance I could be stuck like this. Paralyzed on one side of my face? Why? What did I do to deserve this?
I can't brush my teeth very good because I can't really spit. I look like I'm questioning everything you say with my fallen eyebrow. I'm ashamed to smile and today, talk. To me, I feel like I talk funny even more so than yesterday. I look in the mirror and try to make fun of my situation and I cry. It's so hard to stay bright and have a positive outlook if all you see if something so depressing staring back at you in the mirror.
And the best part of my situation? I still have to do the dinosaur baby shower cake. Which I guess is okay and stressful at the same time. My vision is blurry from drops so it's making it somewhat difficult. The medicine kept me up until 9AM so I got baking and fondant done. I just feel rushed and like there's not enough time as usual. I always have these big hopes and that nothing's going to go wrong and they always do. I'd rather have dropped a cake and not half my face. ::sighs::
Pictures of the cake tomorrow! .. and obviously, none of me. :D Wish me luck with all my troubles. :P
